Ph34r m@ B33r!!!

Have you ever had this happen to you: your hanging out with your girlfriend, she gets pissed at you; then suddenly, like getting hit with a fifty pound bag of spam, you realize that the person standing in front of you is fucking ugly as hell? It’s the most disturbing thing that’s happened to me since the sneak preview of “gigli”. Thing scared me worse then Arnold Swartzanagger becoming governor of California.

How did I get into a relationship with someone that ugly? It makes no sense. I know what most people are thinking right now, I’m probably some homely fucker you latched on to the first girl who gave me the time of day. Don’t try to lie, I see it in your eyes. The fact is, I’m not that bad looking, I’ve had my share of dat… what the fuck am I babbling about?! This is worse shit then Oprah. God, next thing you know, I’d be singing folk songs and tie dying all my clothes. Fuck that hippy bullshit. Its fucking super bowl Sunday and I aint got shit to do, thank you God! Sure, all I got is bud light, but there’s eight fucking gallons of the stuff. My dad bought it for my sisters birthday party, but she and her friends left! And in my current situation, there are only two types of b33r and both of them are free. F33r B33r matha fucker. And now, I leave you, but Ph34r not, for where I go, I shall be blitzed on 3 or four gallons of b33r. Oh, and if you don’t like the spelling, then your obviously not getting laid, because if you were, you wouldn’t have time to grype abput spelkling.