Doors

Let me just tell you: I’m an 18 year old male high school senior. And I'm sure that some of you, and the people in high school can back me up on this, have noticed that America has been stupefying it self. Tags on toasters that tell you not to take it in the tub with you, labels on the back of window shades saying not to drive with it in place, really stupid stuff. Sure, people say, "Its saving lives" and "Think of the children!", but are these really the people we want to be saving? Do we want people who don't know putting a plastic bag over their head will kill running around on earth? Screwing up the gene pool? It’s getting so bad out there; the great omnipotent school gods are putting up freaking directions next to doors. Doors, for Pete’s sake! The most perfect device ever created by architects. How can you not know how to open a door? Your parents know (or at least they should, unless they’re from Appalachia) and if you watch your parents leaving the house enough times, and they probably do a lot just to get themselves away from your stupid ass, then you know how to open a door.

But, in all fairness to the great school gods, they (stupidly enough) are right. The people, mostly freshmen, do not understand how to operate this simple, easy to use machine? It’s a lever, plain and simple. But these people, (again, most of them are freshmen) will go up to a to a two sided door, open one side, then all of them will squeeze their fat asses through a three foot wide door. And at my school, there are only two types of girls: Fat Chicks and Fat Lesbians. There is maybe one or two good looking, but those have such deep seeded psychological problems that even that messed up ship from “The Core” couldn’t reach the bottom. So we stand and shuffle, shuffle and stand, all the while waiting for someone to grease that fat broad up and slide her through, never looking or even thinking that we could just… walk through the other door.

So, let me ask you, have we, as Americans, become slaves to conformity? Are all of us just corporate tools? I say to you brothers and sisters, never be sheep, never be goldfish waiting for the sprinkle of flakes from the gods of rules, and when your stuck in a freaking line with an easy yet nonconformist way to get out, take it.